JAWC Volume 2 : Thinking of the future...
Two years.. that's what I tell myself, that's the limit to me staying here... if I can hold out for two years I should have enough capital to start anew.. someplace new and someplace better... concentrate on making money and that damned student loan... after July 2010 I should be concentrating on other things... leave everything else behind, comic, family, friends.... leave everything behind until I can be debt free and without burden... then when I'm free of those things which hold me down I can go on and resume wasting my life with frivolity...
I need to make a plan and stick to it... earlier to bed, early to rise and start my days with a right mind... I must prioritize the things I must do and put aside the things I want to do... my life has been rife with indecision and frantic anxiety. I know that this won't happen over night... I know that it will be a slow process until I reach the stoic ideals that I've set forth for myself.
I plan on having the comic finished to a point where it could end by 2010. I plan on making it open ended so I can always revisit it when I have my life in order, but for now the latter half of 2010 is the goal I have to finish the comic and have a solid ending that could continue but overall be complete. I plan on stopping my online life in it's entirety from that point as I need to put away certain things so I can strive for a better life for myself... too oft I find myself that I'm always doing something but want to do something else... well, I need to stop doing that and decide what it is I want to do and then go out and get that done.
I have 2 years left before I end the comic, 2 years left online and 2 years before I leave home again as I set out to the great unknown. Buckle down and start growing up. I've set out on my own before, I learned I can make it on my own, but this time I want it to be on my terms... I don't want to always feel as though I'd gotten stuck where I am... I always want the ability to know that it's my choices that cause my situations. Scapegoats and blaming others is wrong, I know the reasons why I left Utah, and I know the reasons I came back, I also know that I have to create goals because I'm going around in circles.
Sometimes I look at the situation I'm in and I want to just accept that I'm so depressed that I just want to break down and crawl into a small hole and wish the world away... in order to do that I have to finish my commissions, create a backlog and then just go online to update, and confine myself to my room and concentrate on improving... improving nothing else but myself... cause that's what I need to improve, it's the only thing I can improve at the moment, mainly because it's the most prevalent.
Welcome to it.
- Tiki Man