JAWC Volume 2 : I find that I look better with a tuft of beard... who knew? Allright, things are starting off well, hopefully I don't falter this much, and everything goes smoothly... something to rant about... hmm.. it's sorta odd doing this twice a week now, before hand the schedule was twice a week then once a week, so 6 comics a month on average, now it's going to be 8 comics a month on average... so that's two more comics a month for you guys out there.. all 12 of ya... could be less but not likely to be more than that... but eh, I know you all enjoy it just as much as I do... I found it interesting that my rant page is the most unlooked at portion of this site... I mean seriously no one bothers to read this, so I suppose that it's a sense of extreme freedom for me, a way to "blog" if you will unfettered from societal normalcy... not that I ever really cared when I was delusioned enough to believe that anyone actually did read all this rhetoric that I type down... so yay? I have a goal.. a horrible goal that I can't really do much about for about 2 years... I don't even know if I can go through with it, but upon mentioning it to a friend it occured to me that they were probably upset by the news I sprung on them... cause well, it's sorta annoying when you're seemingly out of the loop, but that wasn't my intention, it was sort of a thought I've been toying around with. and that thought is to leave the internet for an undetermined amount of time when I decide to move out again in 2010... yeah, I know, 2 years away.. sorta insane to think about it now... but eh, that's what I do, welcome to it. So here I am, and I realize that I'm in a one sided relationship that almost rivals a shoujo manga plotline... it's kinda comical and depressing if I remove myself from the situation.. but I don't want to so much otherwise I'd just end up overly depressed to the point where I'd just break away like glass into dust and into the wind... then again, this kind of situation may find a remedy if I were to just pick up and disappear... I don't know and the thought that I'm my own worst enemy is quite frightening... still I pursue and yielding nothing, I find that I'm just glad to be around them... so not much I want to do about it, cause well, I'm a timid bastard at times... Still, the idea of leaving doesn't seem all that impossible for me, some people get into a fandom or anything to gain notariety and fame, others it just comes to them like a moth to a flame, I don't know whether to envy them anymore, cause let's face it people are assholes, I myself am no exception to this rule, right now, someone could be reading my past rants and this rant right now saying to themselves, "geez, this guy's an asshole." so my statement is a fact unto my own logic... and let's face it, once you consider everyone an asshole, everything starts to fall into place, the world is no longer topsy turvy and it all seems ... right. however I find that although I state everyone is an asshole, I realize that I am LESS of an asshole than most other people... yeah, I know that it's contemptible of me to say that, but I don't care I really mean this... I'm less of an asshole than most people... I'm glad about that, because it's what enables me to see this shit filled world as it is... I don't want to but no one else is, and they walk around as deluded as ever thinking that it's all good, that the world is fine... I look around, I see the shit from the assholes out there, and I realize the most I want to do is to flush my own personal toilet, other people go on crusades to flush the other toilets, but I mainly care about mine... and mine alone.. I'm a selfish person... really selfish, but less of an asshole than most... welcome to it, but that's the short of a long paragraph here... I've always held fast to the thought that I am not important to anyone... that if I were to die, no one would really care, it'd be a sad occasion, but it would pass within a month... very few people would actually give a damn enough that it would affect them personally... oh well, it's just a fact that I haven't found that someone that would become depressed if I were to die, I suppose that thought would make for a good question to see if you have the right person as a lover or a spouse... "If I were to die, how depressed would you get and for how long?"... I mean c'mon if it's a month, then you're in the wrong relationship.. if it's half a year, things are a bit better, if it's more than a year that's a damn good sign... more than that is a shame for the person, but it shows how much that person loves you... Anyway, what the hell was I talking about... ah.. leaving the fandom or the internet more precisely... yeah, I think it would be a better situation for me to eventually disappear for a year or two... not the people that I mainly talk to, but just the internet in general.. ignore everything, no AnthroCon, no I-Con, no conventions... just save up, concentrate on work and improve towards a better goal than to draw fap fodder for a subversive world of people pretending they're normal... I mean it sorta scares me when people start to get really involved with their characters they create...I remember drawing for a guy named furryneko, guy was from england and said he married his character, his parents bought his commissions for him, and he even had a ring on his finger inscribed with some crap about his furrygirl spouse named Kara... that shit is several kinds of awkward... I ended up making a nice chunk of change, but this was some years ago, and after I couldn't meet up with his drawing needs, he ditched me as an artist and went to PalComix for quick and stale results... the thing I never understood was that the guy who was drawing for him over at that site had my pics which were cel shaded, to work from and he totally fucked up the colouring job on all the pics... oh well, the more to the guy, but it's kinda creepy knowing that these people are in this "fandom"... I am lucky though that I met most of the cool people in the fandom who know the difference between a fun fantasy and stark reality... I am so glad that I know the normals and not apart of the psychotic set... so damn lucky I got to meet these people first instead of the freaks.. Then there's the fanbase I see of a couple of people, and that's a whole new kinda scary.. I mean, I never truly understood fanatic until I saw these people... encountering them in there most unnatural habitat, it would scare steve irwin if he were still alive... damn you sting ray.. damn you to hell!... anyway... I'm gonna go to sleep, I'm starting to blur the vision and losing my topic... not that there ever was one to begin with... Welcome to it. - Tiki Man