JAWC Volume 2 : The Final Chapters... Geez, it's late, I'm tired, but I have to rant.. why? cause that's what this space is for, I got rid of the damn mini rant space on the front page so I gotta put it somewhere... so geez.. cut me some slack dammit! Anyhow, there's a lot I can bitch about but I'll keep it to one topic today and hopefully I'll remember to rant more properly on Friday... so let's see... Being social... that's the topic for today... I am NOT social... I was never raised that way and I'll continue to not be that way... I find it very difficult to talk to people in general, unless I'm bitching about something, cause let's face it, it's easier to just ramble about something you know about than it is to delve into the territory of the unknown... I'ts not that I don't want to be social, it's the fact that I don't know how to be social, I mean I'm not all that confident about myself, so introducing myself to others and opening up is a really strange idea that other people take to, like a fish to water... I don't get it, but I try and then as one person phrased it... Getting to know you is like a trial by fire... I wonder how correct that is... I mean, it's not like I push people away on purpose... it's natural.. it occurs like moss on the north side of a tree... it happens, I don't notice it and then I just accept that people will like me if they get to know me... but there's the problem, I'm naturally not giving people the chance to know me... and I only have my basic instincts to blame for it... Seriously, that's right, my basic instincts... I mean that, cause throughout my life I've been burned for how I look, what I like and just for generally hanging out by myself... growing up I learned it was easier to just be by myself than it was to deal with the crowd.. cause on most, MOST occasions the crowd will single you out, mock you and oust you to make sure that they stay in the crowd... I'm trying to unlearn the harsh lessons that childhood and growing up taught me, but it's not easy... most people like being around others... and I for some reason, didn't... it just made life easier... and now that I'm older, I find out that being alone makes things harder... I'm telling you, there needs to a be a handbook for socializing... do's and don't's and when to start talking to people and how to find those that will like you for who you are and not what you can get them... Geez... anyhow... I just don't get how people are able to be so inclined to readibly be able to say hi to people and get to know them... it's very scary to me... and maybe that's what this is all about for me? I'm a shy person... until you get to know me... I'm like a charlie brown in a world of snoopy's... a failure face that's doomed to get bad advice for a nickel... Welcome to it I guess... - Tiki Man