Welcome to The SoapBox!! This is the freedom of speech page.. or the "SoapBox" welcome!.. obviously you dropped by because you figured... hey, I need to see how messed up this person is... well here we go... Time for me to be vague... In the course of the holiday and in the last week, it comes to my attention that sometimes people who are set in there ways can and will never be changed... stupid really is as stupid does... She just can't learn about action and consequence.. it's as if she was never given consequences for her actions as a child... from the time she was little she was probably a bad seed... it's not as if she wanted to be this way... then again upon further examination.. she really did want to be this way... her revenge for my existance and the bane for her happy life... Being the youngest of three, I was practically in the way for her happy existance... seeing as the other two were older, she could have ditched them without reason.. however she used us as an excuse to stay... and for the rest of the time I stay here, she has made sure to make me suffer, not as much as she could mind you... that's because even when I was little I had the experiences to show that relatives of her side were all evil... and I'm not using "evil" as a word to just exagerate.. no. All of her family is evil, including her... she is the most evil and coniving person there is, a manipulator and a devil. I know you're thinking "oh, she can't be that bad..." yes, she is and worse, because I haven't found the words to describe my loathesome hatred for her... at every turn she proves to be a hypocrite... acts pious and then turns around and does wrong... as I was saying though, my experiences have made me tentative around people, and to get involved is an odd thing... hurt is something that will linger forever, nothing can replace it, at least nothing I've seen, especially if that hurt resulted from love misguided... no one wants someone to purposefully taunt you, and make you angry... especially when you find out the reason behind it. I was the bane of my mothers enjoyment.. I was part of her misery... I was what she truly resented having... but she stuck out for the long haul and here I am, jaded as ever, saddened and distraught. Nothing can take this pain away, all it leaves is a empty hole of nothing, and the most I can do is draw to keep the pain from lingering... at least porn distracts me enough that I can make it through the day, and my drawings are what keeps me afloat... I found two people I can talk to... that's really uncommon for me, usually I just draw and post to the site... then I got discovered and got to go here.. to TJA... I was able to go to AnthroCon... I had never left my town by myself before and now I was off to PA... it was something new and wonderful, I was away from that which abhorred me and I was among people that accepted me... acceptance is the great forgiver, it was that which keeps me going too... the thought that next year I can be back in a place where every move I make isn't scrutinized... but then it all ended and I had to go back to home, with she that hates me for being... Yeah, I know this rant is going long, but I've had this on my chest for a few months now and I just needed to vent... So in the end, love under false pretenses, filled with lies, hypocrisy, betrayal, deceit... it all ends in disaster, and everyone gets hurt... and even though you may think you've found someone, make sure you learn as much as you can about there past.. cause it's that past that may destroy or strengthen a relationship... I wasn't even the main participant in the initial hardship, but I had to suffer because of her betrayal and lies... and when the truth came out.. it was the deepest cut of all. Love unreturned has no rainbows... just a guy crying on the side in the rain... There were no rainbows... but maybe, someday... OMGTKB (Ben)