Welcome to The SoapBox!! Yes... This is the "Soap Box"... which means I can put anything I want here and not give a damn what you think. Went away for about two weeks now... and part of me wonders if anyone really gave a damn either way... probably not, heh... Still I had a rant pre-typed out and then just abandoned it for the one I'm typing now... again, not that you really care, it's just something I felt like mentioning, after all this page isn't so much for your enjoyment as it is an outlet in which I may vent my angst upon those who read this... so live with it... Anyhow, new thumbnails are here to replace the odd 40px ones that were here prior... so they give a better view as to what the pic is rather than just an obscure eyeball or whatnot, however it doesn't give enough away that you can't avoid the weird shit I draw, so... happy hunting, heh. Still other changes have been made to the aesthetics of the site, just in case you didn't notice the whole black and blue theme going on... anyhow, that'll change in a few months anyway, so enjoy the oddity of the color scheme while it lasts... Finally did away with the whole interactive comic, and now it's just a weekly comic for your enjoyment... buncha leeches is what you all are... FEH!, regardless, I don't care so much, at least I tried and in the end that's what counts... I just wish that my idea would've worked, but it never will... because after all, if you do develop a fan base, it has to be with a comic that was free or donation choices to begin with, but then if you make it interactive it makes you look as though you're selling out and then no one will want to read your comic... so in the interest of doing something more than filling this space with pencil pics of smut, I figured the comic will be better without wondering what will happen, considering after all that hardly anyone gave a damn anyhow. I need to make some cash, so I'll have something soon regarding donations and a CD with exclusive content... but that's not finished yet... but keep an eye out for it... after all it seems like a good idea... if that doesn't work, I dunno... Sometimes I wonder what's the point of this website... I mean, I looked at my web hits and they stayed steady throughout the period I was gone... which makes me wonder what would happen if I disappeared from the net completely, lol... it'd be interesting to see if I actually would make a dent, but I know I wouldn't... so rather than learn that the hard way, I'll just accept that no one really gives a damn... regardless of my status I still find it disturbing that although I try to draw more and more I feel as though I'm washed out of ideas... it's the same crap over and over again. I feel as though this stagnation is brought on by my saftey zone I keep around me... sure I draw some odd shit, but overall it's very similar... I have to break free of this zone and draw different things... I guess that's why I like doing the comic, even though I don't know what to draw for the next pages to come... I mean, I tried color, then straight black and white, and finally concluded with screentone-esque shading to get a manga feel to the comic... which I think works well. Still, I find it annoying that my life is stagnant and even though I could get a chance to leave this hell, I have this disturbed sense of value that makes me want to do it myself without the help of others... although I appreciate the sentiment it's as though I have to do this myself or else I'll feel as though I couldn't do it myself I NEEDED help... it's a pride thing, something I didn't think I had, but seemingly I do... who knew... I wonder if my pride will be my undoing... I never thought of this "pride" as a bad thing... then again, pride that consumes you into thinking you're all that and a bag of chips is bad... no one should be so prideful that they can't accept criticism or input... help is another issue, but hell... I like to do things on my own if possible, I don't think it's bad... anyhow... It's been a year since my graduation ceremony, and I feel as though I've nothing to show for it accept this site and the commissions, which overall isn't much... I need to buckle down and work harder... maybe ease off the drawings and work more on just the comic... develop something that's about 30 - 36 pages and send it off to a storyboard studio in hopes they'll like what they see and perhaps get some work and move out... but dreams, merely dreams... lest I do something about it, but my lethargy is so great that I don't feel like it... damn me. Anyhow, if you haven't guessed by now, I'm just rambling off the top of my head, hell... I'm listening to christmas music right now... but who says you have to listen to christmas music at christmas time... screw that.. I like listening to it, so fuck off and merry christmas... damn straight!... still... working on my life in general trying to become a better person but I don't think it's working... everytime I try to conform or mold myself to something I'm not used to I feel like shit and can't do anything but feel angry... and when I'm angry I can't draw well... and that's what this two weeks was off for in the first place... to overcome this miasma of anger that's enveloped me so heinously. eh, that's all this week... I'm out of material, lest I go into depressing talk, and dammit I'd rather be pissed than depressed... I suppose it's better... so until next time, take easy and enjoy the site... OMGTKB (Ben) The answer is 42... I still don't know the question... maybe it's better that way...