Welcome to the rant page... I talk about stuff that pisses me off... I hate that I've corrupted my morals under the guise of trying new things... I'm sure it didn't seem like I was digging a hole when I started, but over time I wound up in a hole that I could barely get out of... in fact I'm still stuck in that hole, slowly digging an incline to get out... I was a smut artist... I'm not proud of that fact, but it's the truth... I was within the darkness for too long, guided by what I thought were good intentions and the interest of fun... I was wrong... It was a little over a year ago that it happened... I was brought into an environment where smut was what came first... and although I was naive and unknowing... I attempted to draw nudity and slowly I delved deeper within the depravity... I didn't see it as that though.. I thought it was me expanding my abilities... I saw it as a way to try something new and see where I could take my art... I was a fool! Still I, without knowing it, started further upon the path of depravity... I started to get influenced as to what to draw... I see that I was trying to gain favor and fit in... I succumbed to peer pressure... not so much the kind where an evil guy in a trenchcoat comes up to a kid and offers a cigarette.. no this was far worse than that.. cause I didn't know it at the time... no real warning signs as to what was to happen to me, it just gradually happened... and I suppose that's the kind of peer pressure they don't tell you about in school... just the obvious kind, which is easy to avoid... but this kind was sharper than that, and it sunk into my flesh and penetrated my thoughts... Consumed now with seeing how far I could take my art, consumed with the depravity of how much was too much and challenging what I knew was wrong to further loathesome filth... I was at my worst to say when I got into a contest to see who was most depraved in a fetish... I regret that conversation most of all and thinking back to it fills me with disgust and self loathing... so much I feel as though I will never have redemption... Luckily though, when I first started upon this horrid, twisted road of perversity, I met someone that would a year later help me find my way back to the light... someone who would eventually become the sole proprietor of my thoughts and guide me back to where I lost my way and help me get back on the path I originally started upon... it was mere chance we met then, and a friendship blossomed... She became my muse and eventually undid that which plagued me, she healed me where I was wounded and helped me when I thought I was beyond help... without her I fear the depths to which I would have plummeted. Five years from now the projected me would have been so far gone that only death would cure what was wrong with me... I won't go into the horror that could've been me if I hadn't been helped... it fills me with indescribable fear and I can only see clarence pushing me off the bridge where he saved Bailey... Anyhow, I suppose my rant this time around is how I fell into the pit of perversion and was saved by my angel... I'm just glad I didn't end up stuck in it like the person who once swayed me... it was during this time I lost my rant.. I lost my groove.. and without my backbone intact it just slid away and was replaced with the angst... but now I have my spine again, I have found my rant.. and I have seen the horizon of a new day.. and it is good... I look foward to where I'm going, whether it's the pits of obscurity within the minds of others, I'll have regained my integrity and it will be worth it just for that alone... - Tiki Man