Welcome to The SoapBox!! - The area where the anger flows like milk and honey... Holy shit... I tried to take two weeks off and have failed wonderfully at my goal... because if I were to have failed miserably it would mean I would've succeeded... but wordgames aside, I'm still the abrasive asshole I was two weeks ago as I am typing today... in fact I dare say I've gotten worse... I'm a hopeless case of assholism... I never thought I could get this bad, but I proved myself wrong again... it's sad and scary that this is who I am... and regardless of how I try, I'm unable to change it... and that fucking pisses me off!... dammit... Still, without regret I press on... sallying forth into the great unknown, traversing this mortal plane... a hollow shell of a man lost within his own world of paranoia and self loathing... or something like that... regardless, I'm ranting because I am pissed off at myself for being a total... hmm.. I've said asshole alot, let's go with... eh... stupid overanalytical, self serving son of a bitch, shit head... Yeah, that'll work... sure I'm self depreciating, it's what I do, I didn't build up this total lack of self esteem being egotistical and overly happy... hell no, I built this up through years of being bullied and generally feeling like shit... so fuck off if I get a little dramatic... It's my fucking webpage anyhow... what?.. what was that?... it's not my webpage?... yeah, I'm just here on a mortgage... because although this is my little spot where I exercise my freedom of speech, it can easily be read by all and then misinterpreted for the disuse and slandering elsewhere... of course this is only if you actually stop by every week to readthis bullshit... otherwise you'll never look at the fucking archives.. that's for damn sure... My site is falling apart.. and the only real question I get is ... "where's the smut?" and "what happened to you parody section?"... well you know what? I don't give a rats ass anymore about my life... I feel I've thrown myself into a general sway of confusion so great that general isn't the right word.. nope.. I'd say utter and total mind fucked confusion... yeah, that's about right... and I don't have anyone to blame for my actions but me... and that also pisses me off... The hell was I talking about?... Regardless, I don't feel like drawing the parody at the moment, I don't feel like drawing the smut at the moment, I don't feel much of anything at the moment except utter and complete contempt for myself and loathing... loathing that I am still fucking broken, and I cannot fix myself... I'm lost in the quagmire of my life wondering what the fuck I should be doing, instead I'm a deadbeat with no ambition or drive striving to regain freedom from a place where such freedom is improbable at the moment... and for all you assholes out there that want to argue what freedom is?.. fuck off I had that discussion elsewhere.. and quite frankly when I use the word I refer to the escape of this prison I've built for myself... so fuck you if you don't like it... shit... Damn I'm pissed... and it's all me and my failures... so if anyone thinks this is about them and not me?... go fuck off you ego-tripping motherfucker... I'm pissed at me.. not you.. but you want to think that way, go ahead, you're an idiot... and prolly worse off than I am... shit... There's a hole in the bucket... and the damn stone is too dry... -- OMGTKB