Welcome to the rant page... I talk about stuff that pisses me off... There's nothing like reading something someone else wrote to make you wonder whether or not they were joking... and regardless... mocking it through commentary because it gets so insanely absurd at times... Cellphones... there's this person wants a celphone that well let me run it down in a list... There's a link to his site at the end of the rant... 4 & 3/4" long 2 & 1/4" Wide Fits comfortably in the hand Large buttons placed sensibly Full color, high resolution, backlit screen Touch Screen (optional) On site phone repair while you wait Placed within the phone, Retractable earbuds, that when deployed sound goes to them only Earbud replacements if required Fold or Flip phone if desired, as long as the User Interface is large enough Dual Cameras - One for Video Conferencing & One as a Regular Camera Remember this is only the beginning of what this person wants in a cellphone... someone tell me that this seems ... insane... it's a phone.. not a multimedia center.. but that comes later.. I'm getting ahead of myself... Able to make phone calls from anywhere on the planet regardless of situation Seamless Network transitions No Static, except where jamming fields are placed Conference Calling *69 Able to record Audio and Video from all calls placed or received (Notification Tone to let party know they are being recorded) Multimedia enabled conversations (Able to communicate via Audio, Video, or Text) Detailed Contact List, able to be modified and sorted History of everyone that has called and how long each conversation lasted Customizable Ringtones, Able to be made from any source Vibrate makes no noises Free Answering service for when the phone is off or being ignored, up to 500 minutes for 100 messages over the course of 6 months Able to turn off phone service while keeping the unit on Yeah, I know.. it's alot to take in... but this is only the second part of this scheme... and it doesn't seem reasonable at all... I mean, with the way technology is going, getting smaller and smaller, there's only so much you can cram into something as small under 5" long and less than 3" wide... then again the phone could have the height of a small tower... he only mentioned two dimensions here... so that should be taken into consideration, but then again, he said fits in his hand comfortably... maybe he has the hands of a giant... and well, big hands mean... he want's a small cellphone?... eh, regardless.. it goes on... and yeah, I know that this commentary seems useless and petty, but if anyone can tell me why this is necessary for a cellphone.. please email me and tell me why... ( omgtkb @ gmail.com ) Able to hold 1 Gigabyte of data Connects to the Internet, unrestricted (Includes service to Download Music, Books, Comics, Radio Programs, Movies, Commercial-Free TV Shows Currently in Syndication, for less than a dollar each, no Ads or Convoluted Copyguard) Able to pick up regular Broadcast TV Signals, as well as FM & AM Radio (Including Satellite Radio) Record Video, Audio and Still pictures at any time (Includes User-Friendly Software on phone to edit Basic Media - Cropping Pictures, Blending Audio, Cutting together Video Footage and much more) No Shutter Audio when taking a Picture Text Editor Sends Faxes Organize your music folders and choose style of playback (Shuffle, Sequence) Audio comes from either Earbuds, Telephone Speaker, or Audio Port Able to attach phone to your TV and display Photos, Music, & Video (Just like a DVD Player) Cellphone includes Dock for connectivity to your Computer or Bluetooth (Computer will see Cellphone as additional Hard Drive and Modem) Able to send Large Files to other people or point them to a location to which these files can be downloaded Okay I think this is out of hand now... this isn't a cellphone anymore.. it can't be plausible with the size demanded in the beginning, this is... it's... it's just seems stupid... now before you get on my case and say that it's not.. let's examine what a cellphone should be used for... emergencies... nothing more... but that's why I think this is a joke... but I'm not sure... but the insanity continues as this keeps going on... Built-In Firmware applications (Includes Media Players, Telephone Software, Web Browser, Media Editing Suite) Special Strict Mode (Third Party Applications can be downloaded but will fail to initialize - Can be turned off if warranty is waived and at your own risk) Anything downloaded into the phone can be transferred elsewhere and able to Initialize 24 Hour Tech Support (Includes Tech Network Capabilities - Fixed while you're connected to the network via phone tech log-in) Well given the premise of this phone actually existing this part makes the most sense, but for a cellphone it seems pointless... if it was a laptop this whole thing would make sense, except the size of the laptop... but that's not important at this point because this has more to it still... Three (3) Types of Power Management - Batteries Included 4 Rechargeable AA Batteries (Included) 2 Interchangeable Lithium Ion Batterypacks (one charges while the other is being used) Shakeable charge, even when off (Will Charge while you walk) Will Operate at full capacity for Three Days before Batteries need changing Actually if I were to get a cellphone I'd want it to work as long as possible without having to recharge it... however with all these peripherals.. it's hard to conceive that it'd last three days even if it had 4 AA batteries or two Lithium Ion batteries... the pedometer idea would work the best given the configuration with the other two added in order to make up for the times you're not ... "shaking it" still there's more... please keep in mind that if you're reading this through that this is not my idea of a cellphone but merely me showing the lengths people would go to for a phone that isn't really a phone but a mobile entertainment center... honestly I think this person forgot that this is a cellphone that fits in your hand... Regular Camera has 10x Optical Zoom (Includes Brightness Modification, as well as nightvision & InfraRed Capabilities) Phone Security (Password Protected - Biometrics Optional) Phone Interface as One Large TouchScreen - Buttons ReArrange themselves according to Context Flat Panel Magnifying glass attachment expands screen to larger Square Sized Viewing Window Voice Command Capable Costs Less than Fifty Dollars for the unit itself Service costs less than Twenty Dollars A Month Should be out by 2010 Allright that's the list that makes up this persons vision of a cellphone... what's worse is that this person says that none of the features he's mentioned are particularly outlandish... yeah, cause all of this stuff is perfectly viable in a cellphone that will fit in your hand... What this person really wants is a laptop... if it's a laptop then everything will fit, everything will make sense, but nope, this person wants it on a cellphone... A Cellphone should be simple... it should dial out, the battery should last a long time... and the monthly service should be 20$ a month with 500 minutes that roll over indefinitely - as in you don't lose them after a month or two - that's it... nothing more, nothing less... if you need a phone to be your entertainment, then there's something seriously wrong with you... a phone should be used sparingly, not be used as your escape from reality... also if you don't believe that this is what that person wanted in a Cellphone... go to his site.. it's the page that's up now or the one before it... just click here... - Tiki Man