Welcome to the rant page... I talk about stuff that pisses me off... My imagination is a horrible thing... especially when coupled with my paranoia... add a dash of jealousy and you have a bonafide recipe for disaster... It's not even my place to be jealous... at least that's what it would seem... but I can't help myself from being so... regardless of how odd it is for a person like me to show such an emotion... I trust, at least I think I do... but I know that temptations are everywhere and as much as I want to protect, I know I have to let things take there course... even though it's difficult for me to do such a thing... so I wonder if I really trust... I suppose I have to inhibit this uneasy feeling within me... Regardless of that however I noticed something the other day... My callous rage against the world has been altered... I mean, sure I can get upset and rant without a problem... however I find that I am bound by feelings that I've never had before... even as many times as I thought I had these feelings, this is the first time that I've been bound by them... unable to pass them by, unable to ignore them and keep going... I find it annoying and captivating at the same time that such a thing could happen to someone like me... I wonder if these feelings will pass... if I can discard the "me" that I've become and become new again?... I don't know... perhaps I never will... I used to be able to,... yet I don't want to... and for me not to want to go back to zero is an odd feeling... it's strange and wrong but seemingly right... I suppose I'll always be a walking contradiction... feh... that's all this week... come back monday... see ya then.. - Tiki Man