Jawc 1.0 : Of Mice and Malls - Less than 7 Pages left!

I'm walking through a Big Lots on Saturday, I was out later than I usually am and it struck me as I'm walking through the store, not only what great deals they have, but how damn lonely I am... I mean, geez... it's really amazing how, among so many other people, I am alone, just idly walking around, seeing other people, couples, old, young, small, large, so many different people all around me, and I realize that I can't be alone, that all these other people will inevitably feel as lonely or have felt as lonely as I felt at that moment...

It as if a musical overlay was blocking out the sounds around me, and I'm walking as if without notice of anyone else, just watching everything and everyone else... someone spectral in design and I couldn't help but feel even lonlier knowing that these people aren't doing any better than I was, only difference is that I find it hard to smile... whereas most others can't help but put on that upside down frown as if it were ingrained into them since they were little. It was sad to see it, it was sad to know that so many were walking around with a lie across their face.

Usually I have a point to some of my rants, but here I have the disheartening truth entrusted to me through some sickening epiphany... and thinking back on it, I've said this back when I was in highschool... that people aren't happy... happiness doesn't exist, just the contentment of the moment... however long that contentment lasts determines that particular moment in time... for after that moment is gone, people will inevitably search for a new contentment to keep them from delving into misery... granted I'm expanding on what I realized back in Highschool, but the fact remains that contentment is a very difficult state of mind to hold on to...

I was told that I'm not a happy person, I was told that I'm very negative... and I realize that it's true... I won't hide that fact... however, I've yet to find that person, place or thing that would insomuch make me contented enough to smile... most the time I think of a snide comment in my head, I'll look at a chick wearing a low cut top or writing on there ass, I find that I am amused easily, but as for contentment... I find it the most difficult... amusement happens for such a shrt time, whereas contentment comes from something worked hard on and earned... amusement is merely given freely.

I actually asked a girl what the writing on her ass meant... it read "Accadians"... which I asked and she said it was the name of her old drill squad... I can only gather that she meant a cheerleading squad... regardless... I should've assked why she was wearing something with writing on her ass... was she trying to draw attention to it?... granted is was very nice, however it's odd that someone would have the exhibition to wear something like that...

Regardless of why... I find it necessary to think of the question... really, how did it start?... I remember when people wore T-Shirts and whatnot, and nowadays it's all about how much skin a girl can show and how baggy a guy's pants can get... Short shorts and low cut tops, very erotic and enticing, lust is inevitable, and then thoughts of things I would do... given the chance... and I wonder in the back of my head... did she actually look in the mirror before she left her house?... and then I ignore that thought and make lewd comments in my head and possibly let them be spoken.

Anyway... I'm done ranting for this week... remember, just cause someone looks happy, doesn't mean that they are... and women, put some damn clothes on... fall's coming up soon.

Welcome to it.

- Tiki Man